What does it mean to treat a woman well and value her worth? You can’t fake these six genuine actions that go much deeper than opening doors, paying for meals, and giving gifts.
What if this is the year that we’ve had enough? Enough settling for less than we deserve. Enough making ourselves small enough to fit and function in unfulfilling partnerships. Enough looking to someone else to validate our worth. Enough denying just how worthy we really are.
I’ve been told by more than one lover that no good man will ever put up with me. It usually comes when I have one or both feet already out the door of a relationship. The first time I heard it, I thought he might be right. The last time I heard it, everything in me screamed “Bee-Ess!”
In reality, I’ve gotten more skilled at waking up when I realize I’ve settled for less than I’m worth. I’m finally realizing I’ve been attracting people to me who have the same low self-worth mindset as I tend toward. So my first big “enough is enough” move of the year was to make self love a priority.
Build Your Base
If you’re a man reading this post for tips on how to treat your partner well, now is the time to stop and consider the first basic action—value yourself. As Ayn Rand says in The Virtue of Selfishness, “The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.”
Since prioritizing the basic challenge of self love, I’ve been blessed to be exposed to some of the ways a whole, healthy man shows that he recognizes a woman’s worth. Here are six that rise to the top.
6 Actions that Say She’s Worth It
1. Be honest and direct. Don’t make her figure it out on her own. If your intention towards her is friendship, be clear about that. If you’re interested in something more, be honest about where you’re at in life and what you’re looking for. If you don’t know what your intentions are, it’s okay to say that, too. A worthy woman will respect you for taking the sometimes scary leap into transparency and vulnerability.
2. Treat her with respect. Watch what you do with your eyes and your words in front of her and behind her back. There’s nothing wrong with looking. There’s nothing wrong with desire. It’s normal to talk with your guy friends. But if you respect her, you’ll exercise control and consider her feelings. Ironically, when you truly value her, these actions come naturally.
3. Speak her language. Learn The 5 Love Languages and discover which ones she speaks. Does she value quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, or something else? Take the time to discover your own love languages, and let her know what those are, because you’re worth it, too!
4. Give freely. If you want to take her out to dinner, mow her lawn, or take her on a trip, do it. But do it freely without expectations of return on investment. Gifts are not chains that bind her to you.
5. Talk about her. If you think you’ve found a worth-it woman, you’re going to want to talk about it. Don’t be afraid to tell a close friend how excited you are about your potential together. She isn’t an embarrassing secret to keep under wraps.
6. Be present. The most important thing you can give a worth-it woman is your presence. She isn’t another task on your list to be crossed off every day. Be there for her—physically when possible and emotionally even when you’re apart. When you truly let a worth-it woman into your life, the benefits of presence will be mutual.
If these actions sound like wishful thinking, it’s probably time for a self-worth upgrade. As one of my mentors so aptly says, you deserve fulfilling partnership. It does exist, and you can have it.
How have you been short-changing yourself in dating and partnership? Are you willing to raise the bar when it comes to evaluating a potential partner?
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